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(no subject) [Nov. 16th, 2003|01:10 pm]
i just realized that the pic of me is over 3 years old...i wonder if others would say i have aged?
went to flag this weekend with the minibosses and made it home at 4 this morning due to a freeway miscalculation that left fred and i on van buren and 16th st in the midst of some street fiesta complete with hookers and more low-riding trucks and paper cowboy hats than one could imagine.
saw desi and meg...two highly charming girls i have always adored. i have no girl friends, so it was nice to be slightly stupid and relive my 7th grade feelings of comraderie with the same sex. sigh.
my brakes are acting up, and for some reason, nearly all shops are closed on sundays...one would think that some genius would realize this and have a shop open 24 hours on sunday to accomodate all of those poor souls with ailing brake pads, such as myself. but no. not gonna happen i suppose.
i start a new job tomorrow....dressing business casual and all that jazz. i am unsure when i became this full time worker consumed by the thought of making more money, even though i have more money than i could use at this point.... it is slightly disgusting. sometimes i wish i could just go back to slinging coffee and bagels, and not having to deal with any of the other pressures i feel to be successful in my life. i wonder when "success" was defined in my own mind in the manner that i find myself striving towards. i need to go to grad school pronto, give myself something else to focus on, because i feel as if i am aging too quickly at 22.
fred and i are hitting our 2 yr anniversary in a month....crazy shit. we are also getting a bigger apartment in our complex to accomodate the massive amounts of shit we both own....happy relationship me.
i suppose i have nothing else...at this point im just babbling anyway.
i hate getting showered and dressed and having nowhere to go.
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2003|06:32 pm]
Magic Number21
PersonalityProcrastinator (If The Apathy Doesn't Kill Me)
SexualWhatever, Whenever, Whoever
Likely To WinA Home Help Badge
Me - In A WordWhirlwind
Brought to you by MemeJack

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(no subject) [May. 29th, 2003|08:10 pm]
my car is sick and the car shop has screwed me....my sister asked me if they kissed me afterwards, i find that horribly amusing. the dishes are piling up, my money is flying out of my account faster than i realize, and i feel uninspired. must do something. must do something. blargh.
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(no subject) [Apr. 29th, 2003|08:07 pm]
my father is going to be shipped out to korea in an undetermined amount of time. strange shit. he called to inform me that upon his possible death, my lil sis and i will be receiving "shitloads" of insurance money, and that if his wife were to die or something happened while he was away, i am the second runner up for power of attorney over his assets. turns out he has no idea which korea he will end up in, yet, has found out that his assignment is with the fucking crazy ass green berets and will involve his jumping out of planes into enemy territory. my father is 44 years old and probably has not jumped out of a plane since national guard basic training. he appears slightly scared, yet all american gung-ho about the goddamn thing...."well, this is what i signed up to do, fight for my country....", did i mention that he is from utah, pretty much racist and has political views most likely consistent with tipper gore? sigh.

for some reason, i dont have too many feelings on this whole thing. of course, i would prefer he end up in south korea, in an army type bungalow in paradise, but i have no doubts upon his return. according to his assigment, the minimum is a year and he is currently on 24 hour notice at all times to ship out...i can only imagine what my highly emotional little sister is thinking right now as he is informing her. so i suppose that upon this whole iraq bullshit ending, the next territory to conquer is going to be north korea, where the REAL shit will go down.....thank god for the easily won fighthing in iraq to distract americans into thinking that war is simple and that conquering a country means only killing one fucking dictator....it will definitely put a shiny spin on attacking korea as well, glossing over the true capabilities that north korea has. la la la, everyone hates the americans.

c'est le vie.
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(no subject) [Feb. 14th, 2003|12:47 pm]
last night i put my favorite elvis costello song on the jukebox at the bar. "i want you"....fred shall soon learn the love i have for the hero in glasses....had to come home and listen to it again before i went to bed...once an addict, always an addict.
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(no subject) [Feb. 13th, 2003|12:14 pm]
i take centrum a to zinc, does that make me old? my sewing machine is fucking schizophrenic but i have too much pride to take it in to have someone else figure it out...thats my job. my apartment smells moldy due to my ceiling rotting from rain. i love my boy more than i love the entire world, except myself. i miss the nightlife. i need more friends, more penpals, more something to satisfy my intellectual cravings. i need a haircut and a dye job, a tickle and a blow job...can someone explain to me why men call it "Giving head" and "blow jobs" when it concerns doing it to women? for some reason that makes no sense to me. fred and i decided i should write for porn mags, as long as i can accrue a list with enough euphemisms for penis and vagina.
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(no subject) [Feb. 3rd, 2003|01:10 pm]
agh, i put new earrings in my ears and now they are all infected due to my acquisition of a bad habit of touching them. sigh. had sushi for the first time last night at Ra.... not sure how i feel about it, but somehow got wrangled into a sunday sushi night tradition. oh well. my job is weird...teaching 4 grown men how to take showers and cook grilled cheese...hopefully my hours change to day shift so i can see my boyfriend more than 5 hours every m-f. blah blah blah.
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(no subject) [Dec. 13th, 2002|07:39 pm]
i am feeling nostalgic right now...i feel like i want to contact every person i have ever met in my life just to see how they are doing, how life is faring, whether they are happy with their choices. this rarely happens to me. i am quite the anti-contact kind of girl where emails only cease on my end, calls are never returned (cause i hate the phone and blah blah blah), and although i still love ppl and hope they are ok, i never take the time to find out. its a horrible habit, i dont know where it came from, but i always felt like moving on was what was preached or something. dont dwell, move on. i suppose that means life situations, not necessarily when it concerns every person you meet. dumb me.

i think it happens more often than i would like to admit, and i think that having fred in my life has helped to kindof seal me off from the world, but mostly by a weird choice. we are together every day except maybe 10 hours, and it seems like i can't fit others in right now. i know i can, and i know i should...its just much harder to do than just be aware. perhaps once we actually find a place together, and when we finally dont have the option of him having a possible place to go home to instead of here, i will find plenty of time to reacquaint myself with those i love and find wholly enjoyable ppl.

tomorrow is xmas cookie day at my mom's house. i love cookie day. i feel like rarely to any of us help so much as watch my mom make cookies and make sure she doesnt burn them. she has an issue with time consciousness, without fail she burns things on a regular basis. i am getting my sewing machine this weekend, so hopefully i will get cracking on some stuff i have had stewing in my head for awhile now. all i ever do is ramble ramble ramble.

over and out.
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(no subject) [Dec. 12th, 2002|02:32 pm]
one final tomorrow, one final next week, graduation next friday, canada in 2 weeks, hopefully start job day after i get back, find house with fred, move out of here by february...i finally have some plans set up and its pretty satisfying. i went to vegas this week for a few days and spent my time playing nickel slots cause im too afraid of losing precious money that could be spent on food. i came out 8 bucks poorer, but fred lost 50, so i really cant feel so bad. vegas is the most disgusting place, really. no clocks, tinted windows so sunlight cant be let in, ashtrays in bathroom stalls, old ppl with their lil casino cards attached from their chest to machines like a life-line. it was utterly depressing. the liquor was free and watered down, the food was cheap, but there was a reason....just sad. blargh.

i suppose that when i am 25 with a disposable income, i may enjoy it more, but as a frugal college student, i was appalled by the amounts of money that was thrown away. that was food money, xmas money, money to pay for kids, money to pay for rent...and it was taken more often than not.

...now that school is over, i need to find a hobby. i dont want to be one of those ppl who has an 8 hr job and then does nothing else. i dont want my life to turn into an occupation and watching tv to relax. perhaps i better start playing bass again, there is no reason not to. now that fred is moving in, i have access to amps and everything i would need...i just need to get over my bashful nature.

time to go study for my women's studies final.
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(no subject) [Nov. 27th, 2002|10:53 am]
last night fred threw me for the ultimate loop, man, i hate it when i use cliches..oh well. i was lying in bed and he was in the bathroom when he shouted, "oh by the way, im not moving in februrary"....*shock shock*. i had been dreading december since june, and then february since september, and now he pulls this shit. he came out and saw me dumbfounded and tried to explain how there was no real reason for him to leave while things were so good here, that perhaps he shouldnt leave until everything finally fell apart and he had no other choice. now, this is what i have been trying to tell him all along, mind you, but i guess it just took a few parties and a lot of friends bemoaning his imminent departure for him to think a bit more about what he was doing. so then i asked him where he planned on staying and he pulled out the, "i was thinking we could get a place together". now, this has been my fantasy for quite some time but i was trying not to kid myself into believing something that would never happen, and now he says it out loud. damnit, i want the house and pets, the garden and the plants...i want to be a happier, more sane martha stewart, the crazy domestic side as well as the business side, and i know i could have it with him. i am trying not to get too giddy or too wrapped up in possibility...i need to wait it out a bit more to believe him when he says he wont leave me whenever he feels the urge to see montreal, or be able to watch hockey games on tv at any time of the week. all i know is that my lease ends in one month, and i need to find a place to live after that (if not with my mother, argh)....the countdown begins now.

happy thanksgiving all.
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